What happened with "hope" ...

I survived the "Hope in Alaska" trip. It was all kind of eerie though. Driving down a dirt road that led to the row boat (ok, so it actually was a taxi ferry - but it was still SMALL) that would take us across icy waters to no mans land. Then once in no mans land we had to walk 3/4 of a mile. Maybe not too far for some but remember where this is ... Alaska ... and the snow in no mans land is greater than the snow in "my daddy's land" (Anchorage). Deep!! Very very DEEP!! And freezing cold.

We make it to the place and the moment the door opens I smell weed. And a lot of it. FYI ... here in Alaska it's legal to have 4 oz of marijuana in your possession. So, the place reeks, enough to make me cover my mouth so I don't puke. I could feel myself getting dizzy just smelling the stuff. Once we're inside the healer takes my hand and starts stroking it and talking in a language I do not know. Then he starts rubbing my arms and then my shoulders, all the while speaking this foreign stuff. I am still standing and in the middle of the room. Not only are my dad and step mom watching, but this healers family is there too. Then he turns me around and starts doing this weird lightly touching, sort of rubbing but not (it was weird what ever the heck he was doing) and then he suddenly stops (speaking too). I am staring at my dad with a look of "what the hell is going on" and he is staring at the healer with the same look. I wanted to bolt from this place as quickly as I could but I stood there. In the middle of the room, in silence, not moving. And I stood there for several minutes (maybe five). Then the healer started chanting loudly and kind of rubbing my back and almost the instant he did this the pain in my back was no longer and I had this weird feeling come over me. I seriously wanted to cry ... fear, nerves, lack of sleep. But I didn't. So after this the healer led us to this back room, which was almost pitch black, there was a small lamp on a table in the corner of the room. In the middle of the room was a chair and he motioned for me to sit in it. He chanted some more ... sometimes loud, sometimes soft. He touched the top of my head and my forehead. The then back of my neck. He repeated this several times. Then he rubbed my shoulders. And then it was over.

It was the weirdest shit. I never spoke a single word. As the healer was leading us back out to the front door my dad asked what happened. All the guy said was "better, better." I don't think he spoke english. The whole thing was weird. Crazy weird. We made our way back to the water taxi and across the icy waters before I spoke a word. Then it all came out. Full on bawling. I seriously have no idea what the hell happened (and neither does my dad or step mom). The pain in my back stayed away for almost 24 hours then it came back. My dad jokingly asked if I wanted to go back to the healer again once the pain returned. I shot him one of the dirtiest looks ever.

This person supposedly is a licensed healer but I have my doubts. The only thing I do know is he smokes a lot of weed and I couldn't get away from the smell for days!!

So, there you have it. My "hope in Alaska" trip.

I am now whispering, it's a faint whisper, but this started happening before the "hope" trip. And I was told it could happen once my vocal cords recovered from surgery more. But I'll take a faint whisper over being completely mute anyday. I still use sign language, and write on my dry erase board a lot, because sometimes the whisper is there and sometimes it's not.

Hope everyone is enjoying "green day."

hugs ~