Hope ...
- to cherish a desire with anticipation
Faith ...
- complete trust
Prayer ...
- an earnest request or wish
There are many definitions of these three words. These are the ones that most fit me, my life.
A few weeks ago I started having back pain. Friday it got to the unbearable stage. An ultrasound confirmed that I have a mass growing on my liver.
I do have hope, and I do have faith, and I do have a prayer ... but I feel like I am about to walk thru a door that I am all too familiar with, yet is unknown to me, and that scares me. To the core.
While I have walked thru the door of cancer. And I've faced it head on. And I've fought with every ounce of my being. And I've even conquered it. I am still scared.
Of the unknown. What if it is cancer? What if my cancer has metastasized? What if it's not cancer? Does it come out? Does it stay? Do I have more treatments? More chemo? More radiation? And what happens to what is going on inside of me right now?
I wish that I could stop time. And I wish that I could look ahead in time. If just for a moment. So that I would know why these tears fall.
Hope. Faith. Prayer.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
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8 comments:
Let them fall, because they fall in hope, they fall in faith, and they fall in prayer.
And mine fall with yours.
I go on my knees for you. I hold you close in my heart.
Be strong as I know you are.
Praying
Oh Chan...
I'm praying, too.
You know my belief in miracles. You are so amazing to me and continue to inspire ME. I will keep you in my prayers Chan.
chant chant chant chant chant chant chant!
You are such a powerful bodhisattva. You already know this.
There are so many people that you have inspired, and continue to inspire, myself included. You are truly a victorious hero. That is what makes one day of your life more precious and valueable than all the treasures in the universe.
Kimi o ai shiteru!
Ki
Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo ... is the answer.
To every thing, exactly! Now get some sleep.
You know I'm here for you no matter what happens. You own a piece of my heart. I'm praying for you...
*smooch*
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